Copypasta

• Tie cheese wire around neck.
• Measure distance between mouth and erect cock.
• Attach rope of said distance to head.
• go to the top of a decently high building, make sure your body will be intact, and make sure there are people below you.
• insert wooden props into mouth.
• Pop some viagra and wait for it to set in.
• tie end of cheesewire to something.
• Squirt lots of superglue into your mouth.
• Superglue hands to the sides of your head.

If all goes as planned, some poor fuck will be traumatized for life from seeing you giving yourself a blowjob with you own decapitated head.