Copypasta

Femanon here.

I just tricked this pathetic pussy into the friendzone.

I'm a little disappointed at how easy it was. I like a challenge and this one was like putty in my hands. He tried to do the nice guy routine, pretending he didn't want to have sex with me, which really turned me off. Its disingenuous, dishonest and obvious. So I flipped the script on him. If he was going to be fake with me by hiding his true intentions and try to trick me into a relationship, why shouldn't I be fake with him so that I can exploit him for emotional support?

I told him I just wanted to be friends. He said he was fine with that (I still laugh with my girlfriends when I mimic the facial expression he made). Then I waited. After about two weeks of us talking about my sex life with ex-boyfrieds in facebook chat, I invited him to come over and drink beers with me at my place. I had invited some other guys (who had girlfriends, some of them there, or were genuinely good friends) over and they were already there when he got there. After he arrived, I put on some music and started dancing seductively while constantly staring at him. I ignored the other guys in the room and I treated him like a king. I constantly brought him beers when the one he was drinking was empty. I sat in his lap and touched him a lot. I laughed at all his jokes. Basically, I gave his ego a hand job.

I repeated this process two more times, and by the third, he made a move on me. I shot him down of course, which was the plan all along, feigned surprise at his sexual attraction to me and apologized for giving him mixed signals. He accepted my apology and left.

Now he goes shopping with me, always answers the phone when I need some advice, helps me repair my car, and buys me flowers from time to time. He's a good little beta boy, who knows exactly how to please me. He's my pathetic little emotional tampon.