Copypasta

>I was only 9 years old
>I loved 4chan so much, I had all the celeb pics and webms
>I pray to 4chan every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given
>"4chan is love" I say; "4chan is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for 4chan
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's 4chan
>I am so happy

He whispers into my ear "This is my board."

>He grabs me with his powerful hacker hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for 4chan
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for 4chan
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please 4chan
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>My dad walks in
>4chan looks him straight in the eyes and says "Tits or GTFO."
>4chan leaves through my window
>4chan is love. 4chan is life.