Copypasta

In other news a Mr. Dick Johnson also known to some as Richard Johnson was arrested last night for the use of his obscene name on the internet. Mr Johnson, a youth councelor at a local elementary school, was exposed to have an obscene name on the internet by the social networking service Google Buzz.

"We never questioned the mans name," spoke a school representative, "until he was found using the internet. I guess he contacted one of the parents and with the whole social-thingy-network of the Googles his name spread to children online. Stern action must be taken against people with silly names and Google to protect our children."

In the meantime an organisation has formed to protest this incident. The organisation known as "Protecting Eccentric Names from Internet Surfers" (P.E.N.I.S.) is making a stance against social networking incidents where the use of proper names has sparked incidents with parents of young children. Willy Dickins, head of the P.E.N.I.S. committee, commented that his name has often lead to misunderstandings. "Last year I got arrested for befriending someone on facebook and trying to send them a message", Willy spoke, "since that day I've been using the pseudonym FreeWilly, which is symbolic for me wanting to be free to use my own name again."

"It's all about the perception of my name and the context people see it in." said private Parts, a soldier in marine corps, "When I go online with my rank and surname, people automatically label me as a pervert.". The ever growing member list of P.E.N.I.S. shows that this problem is growing fast, and with the advent of technology expanding into areas where children may be confronted with these dubious names.

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality', which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to paedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
Richard M. Stallman [archive.org], spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.fr] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.fr] perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

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Moot is a faggot.

Lol at trying to "sell" 4chan for US$ 500 million.

Moot didnt create 4chan.

4chan was created by the cumulative uprotected intellectual property of millions of anons, which faggots like Moot and Eric Nakagawa have stolen from to fuel their weeaboo fantasies.

Its bad enough that Eric Nakagawa stole our caturday meme and sold it off for US$3 million as icanhascheezburger.com. Do we want all our memes to be sold off by some "Christopher Weeaboole" in the very same way?

Fuck that.

Flame on faggots, suck moot's dick all you want, heres the reality, if moot cashes out on 4chan, youre not going to get any dividends, and you'll just be one of millions who got screwed over.

I dont remember getting any part of the profits from Nakagawa's 3 million deal, for all the OC that ive contributed to the caturday meme.

Think.

Dont go about associating the greatness of /b/, a platform for unhibited intellectual property and creativity, with the likes of moot.

Moot was nothing but a 16 year old weeaboo fag when he created his weeaboo board to "talk about japenis anime with his friends", he had little hand in the makings of the greatness of /b/, if anything, his modfaggotry and overcompensative banning has limited the intellectual creativity of an otherwise limitless platform.

Ever since I was 16 I had had the hots for my cousin. We had gotten in touch with each other over emails and MSN and of course shared a lot of pictures of each other and the family. It even got to the extent of us staying up nights on end just having cam conversations with each other. She once said that when she looked good, other men telling her she looked hot didn’t mean as much to her as much as me saying it meant. I clearly watched her blossom into this gorgeous 19 year old woman with the perfect c-cup tits and an ass to die for.
She would share stories of her boyfriends with me and I would tell her about my girlfriends clearly noticing that she would get very protective and ask me lots of questions about the women I was dating.Anyway, since childhood I"ve been interested in the military and my career choice was to be enlisted in the army. Now we all know what"s going on in the middle east and the Canadian military being a big part of the Afghanistan mission, we were to be sent down there for a period of 6 months. Before our deployment, 700 military personnel including me were sent to Australia for "Special Tactics Combat Training Camp" to train alongside Australian military for 2 months. This camp just so happened to be just outside of Melbourne. Upon learning this, when I came home that night, I passed on this news to Kavita. Without a doubt, she was jubilant and was very much prepared to see me after 12 years. There was a sense of excitement going through me as well but I tried my best to contain it.The time finally came, so I bid farewell to my family and headed for Australia. First 3 weeks were brutal and we had a lot of harsh exercises to go through. But finally, after 3 weeks, we got a break for 4 days and I called up Kavita to make some plans with her. I made plans to visit her home and it was amazing to see everyone and it was the usual, "OH WOW U"VE GROWN SO MUCH" stuff from her parents and elder sisters. It had been a good 15 mins since I had been in the house but I couldn’t see her anywhere. Then, when I was starting to believe she must not be home right now, she came down the stairs in a green low-cut top and a black capris, just smiling and waving at me. Once again I tried to contain my excitement and just politely said a brotherly Hello. My heart was racing like a fuckin horse at this moment and my eyes kept slipping down to her cleavage which was so perfectly visible.Kavita, her younger brother, and I stayed up chatting up a bit more and just catching up on stuff. Me and her didn’t miss any chances of touching or playfully teasing each other the whole night. Finally we had to go to our respective beds. Lying there I couldn"t stop thinking about her and all I wanted to do was be alone with her. Next morning, we had a good breakfast and I had to go back to camp to check out all the updates. I purposely took Kavita with me as an excuse of good company and also informed the rest of them that I wanted to see the town so after showing Kavita around the base, she could take me for a round of the town. It all seemed like the perfect logical explanation so no-one around the house really hesitated to agree to it.So we headed out, first to the base, and it only took about 10 minutes to deal with the stuff there since all I had to do was sign a piece of paper. On my way there, I got asked a thousand times who Kavita was and I also noticed most men eyeing her up and down. We were out of there soon and got back in the car and headed for town. I ended up saying that since the weather was gorgeous; we should just go to a park and hang out there. She agreed. So we get to a park and were walking up the trail just casually talking and our hands kept touching each others. I finally reached over and grabbed her hand but kept walking like nothing had happened. I did notice her looking down at my hand first and then up at my face. We both knew it was inevitable, so I looked down at her, brought my head down and placed my lips onto hers. Within 5 seconds, we were lip locked and she was holding on to me tightly.I told her how I’ve waited for this moment since the day I started talking to her and she gave me a smile that made me kiss her one more time. We decided we needed to be alone so we headed for a particularly shaded area of the park where there were a lot of trees. The month was November so in Australia it was summer and everyone was hanging around the fountains and sprinklers in the centre of the park. We had the area all to ourselves and as soon as we got there, I pushed her up against a tree and once again began kissing her, this time a little harder than the last. My hands were on her perfect ass and I started to move them up slipping into her top. Soon I was squeezing her breasts from top of her bra. I felt her start to breathe heavily and also some moaning sounds began to escape her lips. She began to undo my shirt at this time and I guess she was nervous because she was having a hard time undoing the buttons. I wanted to help her but I was in no position to let go of her tits. Years of dreaming were finally coming true and I wasn’t going to let it slip.She finally got my shirt undone and slid it off my shoulders. All this time, we were lip locked and didn’t have a care in the world. I finally broke the kiss but went on to nibble her ears and kiss her neck. Her pink shirt had snap-on buttons so all I really had to do was hold the top and rip it open all the way to the bottom. That"s exactly what I did and within seconds it was on the ground. I got back to kissing her luscious lips while feeling her bra covered breasts against my chest. Her hands was caressing my back so I took my left hand down to her waist and opened the button of her tight jeans and then came down the zipper. While still kissing, I lowered her jeans down to her knees and played with her ass cheeks outside her thong panties. It seemed like she was melting into me because her knees started to get weak and she was bending down.I laid her on the soft grass and continued kissing her since I was on top. I moved my hands down to panties once again and slid them aside to feel that heavenly hole I only dreamt about all these years. I rubbed her cunt continuously making her moan out loud and yet her sounds being muffled by my lips. I inserted two of my fingers in her pussy and ferociously started to finger

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  __
/ /  \

/ \
| )
| O O /
\_/\__/\

 \     \
  \     \
  _\     \__ It is not easy being a dick!
 /__\    __ )I've got a head I can't think with it,
 \\ _|    // and eye's I can't see out of,
   \_)   //  I have to hang around with
    /    `-'\  two nuts all the time,
  /    /      \my closest neighbor is an asshole,
 /    |       |and my best friend is a pussy!
|     |       |
|      \     /
 \____/ `---'
   | |   | |_
  _| |   |___)
 (___|

Germany is like why must you chase meatballs, Italy.
In your dreams.
Italy "PAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTA"
Japan "Lets exclude the retarded"
Switzerland drops dead.
China dies in a freak pole vaulting accident.
Spain gored by American Eagle.
France plays with Spain's remains.
Sweden comforts Prussia.
But seriously, Japan just needs to blow America and get over it.
And the holy roman empire just needs to...go away.
And leave Italy alone.
That wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Rome can just make love to anyone it wants.
Mostly Italy, when Germany is to drunk to notice.

I agree. WAY too many people are listening to iPods turned up to 11 on earbuds. I cannot imagine this is "good for them".

high freq is the first to go, so a distorted high end combined with a loss of any real soundstage (which is compounded by turning the LA2A compressors up to max to pump the sound even more at mastering) feeds the material effect of the sound for the sociological issues described in TFA.

In 30 years, when the oil's gone and hordes of cannibalistic zombies wander the ruins of Western Civilisation, these young punks will be easy pickins. Deaf as posts, obese, incapable of complex or convoluted thought, lazy, self absorbed, crybabies with a massive bolt of self-entitlement. Yep. They won't be able to feed themselves and will either join the zombie hordes or be eaten by them.

All thanks to the iPod and the Xbox.

Yep yep, I tell ya. Things just haven't been right since the Coolidge Administration. Zombie hordes back then? Fuck - we'd hear 'em from MILES away...

ghmgnghnhgmghhngmhngmhnmghng...

The sound of zombies. Heck - we'd just sit on our porch with a shovel and beat the fucking crap out of them. None of this "Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt?"" No way. It's more like "I'M (smack!) GIVING (smack!) YOU (smack!) THE (smack!) BEATING (smack!) YOUR (smack!) MOMMY (smack!) AND (smack!) DADDY (smack!) NEVER (smack!) GAVE (smack!) YOU, (smack!)YOU (smack!) STUPID (smack!) FAT (smack!) FUCK! (smack!)(smack!)(smack!)

Yep. THAT would teach them fat zombie fucks a thing or two.

S, if you wanna do something for the future that's REALLY worth doing, do this to your kids:

1. DON'T be their friend. Be their PARENT. And sometimes the parent has to be the avatar of the kid's bad karma. Punishment is good when doled out judiciously and without mercy.
2. Take away the iPod. They want to listen to music? They listen over speakers and at a reasonable volume, because they have to live with others.
3. Get rid of your TV set.
4. Read books, and have your kids read books.

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Jake sat down, a pair of his mom's thong bikini bottoms held in his fist, he wrapped the thong around his cock and started pumping his big 8 inch shaved cock and balls, he grunted as he felt his cum rising, he massaged his balls with one hand, while jerking off with the other. Suddenly the phone rang, Jake stopped pulling off, and got up, it was his mom Ronna. Ronna and Jake had been sleeping together for a while, Ronna explained she would be home late, she was stuck at work, Jake cursed, thinking he'd have to get back to jerking off, he needed to cum, and she wasn't around to help.

Angrily Jake hung up, and returned to the lounge, a knock came from the front door, Jake opened it, and his cousin Lisa stood there. She was attractive, dark complexion, very tanned, brown long curly hair. She was a quite thin, very small breasts. She was also a crack addict.

Jake let her in, and they sat down, Lisa looked serious, she was wearing a brown skirt, down just below her knees, with a black blazer, she must have just finished work.

Lisa asked where Jake's mom was, he explained she wouldn't be home for a few hours. Looking into Jakes eyes, Lisa explained she had something difficult to ask him, she was nervous, and she didn't want him discussing this business with anyone else. Jake agreed, looking into his eyes, Lisa explained she was desperate for a hit, she was flat broke, and needed cash fast, she told him that for 100 bucks, she was his, to do with as he wished, any hole, ass, mouth what ever, she needed cash and badly.

Jakes cock sprang back to life in seconds, he looked her up and down, she had a decent body, small tits, but long tanned legs, it took him exactly 5 seconds to have his fat smooth cock out. He slowly started jerking off, and told her to dance for him.

Lisa got up, and slowly, danced, she moved in a sexual fashion, her hands ran over her tits, and her pussy, she wiggled her hips, and sucked a finger while looking in his eyes.

Jake slowly moved his fist up and down his cock, he got up, took 100 bucks from his wallet and some baby oil from his mom's room. He led Lisa over to the kitchen bench, Lisa bent over it, and her firm sweet ass, looked just right to Jake. His hands wandered over her ass, caressing her through her skirt, he slowly lifted her skirt over her waist revealing, a firm tanned, ass, no panties!

He reached around to feel her pussy, trimmed neatly leaving only a thin line above her vagina, he played with her clit as he ground his cock against her ass crack.

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For all litfags who haven't seen this author:

http://original.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=1296793892

Excerpt from "Checkup":

The twins, Sam and Kyle, were ten years old. They sat together on the edge of the cot in the pediatrician’s small office, swinging their legs over the side. Both looked angelic with soft, pale hair and wide blue eyes. Their mother stood impatiently to one side, tapping her foot.

With a soft click, the exam-room door opened and the young doctor came in, a man in his late twenties with immaculate short dark hair that contrasted against his white lab coat. He looked down at the clipboard in his hands, then looked up at the boys with a smile. “Hey Sam, Kyle,” he said. “How’s it going? Why don’t you two get undressed so we can start the exam?”

“I’m sorry Dr. Taki,” interrupted their mother, “but do I need to stay for the exam? I have some important errands to run and not a lot of time. Can I just come pick them up once I’m done?”

“Of course,” said the doctor. “With both of them, it should take a while anyway. I’ll send a nurse to sit with them out in the waiting room when we’re done in here. You can pick them up from there.”

“Wonderful,” said the harried woman. She leaned down and kissed each boy on the cheek. “You be good and do what the doctor says,” she told them. Then, with a swoosh of her skirt and a hike of her purse to her shoulder, she breezed out the door.

The doctor shut it behind her with a soft but firm click, and turned the door latch to lock it. He smiled at the boys, who looked nervous. “Aren’t you going to get undressed?” he asked.

Hesitantly, the boys began to disrobe, lifting their shirts over their heads with some trepidation, and then dropping their pants quickly, embarrassed.

Sam finished first and the doctor smiled, moving over to him and running his hands over the child’s body. He listened to the boy’s heart and took his pulse, looked in his ears, eyes, and mouth. By the time this was done, his brother had finished disrobing, and the doctor looked him over as well. When he had finished the same examinations on Kyle’s body, he let his hands linger on the child’s ribs, dragging his fingers slowly down each ridge as the child’s body rose and fell with breath underneath the digits.

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Ever since we were little, my sister Keri had this kind of crush on me.
She was always hanging around me and wanted to do whatever I did.
I didn't mind it though, we got along with each other.
But as we started growing up, I began to notice that it was more than just sibling affection.

By the time we were both young adults, Keri had started acting differently around me.
She was still friendly and all, but she was never embarrassed to change in front of me or use the bathroom when I was in there.
Sometimes she would come in without knocking, and stand there watching me pee.
Then when I was finished, she'd come over and use the toilet right in front of me.
Or if I was taking a shower, she would come in and undress to her underwear.
After I'd step out of the shower and dry off, all the while naked while she watched me in the mirror,
she'd head for the shower and quickly strip her underwear off for me to see.

I didn't mind the shows, of course.
It was kind of exciting to be naked in front of her, and she must have felt the same way.
But she never said anything about it. I fully expected things to change over time, but I was wrong.
In fact, things really started to heated up.

Keri had really grown into a beautiful girl.
She had a nice body, with all the right curves even though she was thin.
She wasn't ashamed of showing off her breasts either, which were slightly larger than normal.
In fact, I got the feeling she liked it when I saw them, because she was always giving me plenty of opportunity to see them.

One time, we were both in the bathroom, having just finished our showers.
I put a towel around my waist, but she was sitting naked on the edge of the bathtub shaving her legs.
I could watch her in the mirror while I combed my hair.
She spread her legs apart, giving me a very open view of her crotch.
Then she began to shave her pussy, right in front of me.
This was a new sight for me, even after all of the times we'd been naked in front of each other.

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I was plodding through one more hour of homework at my study desk when I heard my sister's playful voice.

"Hey big brother. Whatcha up to?" Julie said as she leaned into my room.

"Killing myself with calculus."

"Calculus? School's almost out for the year! You've got to stop studying so hard Tim-bo, you make me look bad with your straight A-s."

She was on her way up from tanning in the back yard and had on one of her skimpy bikinis. The sight of her petite, sexy frame in that flimsy suit was a welcome break from my studies.

"Besides, I need an opinion on my new tan." She continued as she pulled one side of her bikini top over to show her small, evenly tanned breast. I noted the lack of tan lines. She'd been sun bathing topless as usual. She must have put the top on just to make a show of flashing herself to me.

"Got to think about college Jules, but I'll gladly take a break to check out a sexy body." I said as I eyed her exposed tit.

"Aw, Tim, You really think my body's sexy?" she asked and released the cup of her bikini top which slid back over but caught on her now erect nipple keeping her exposed. She slid her hands down her tummy and hips seductively, stopping to work her fingers under the hem of her bikini bottom and pull it up tight into her slit.

"Hey, who said I was talking about you?"

"Oooh! You are going to get it!" she yelled as she pounced over to my desk and put me in a headlock from behind.

The situation was a bit ridiculous as she was a petite 117 pounds and I was solid 170 from weightlifting. I grasped at her small forearm that was wrapped around my neck in mock attempts to free myself.

"Argh," I gasped "can't ...breathe..." I reached up behind her head and pulled the string that tied her bikini top and pulled it across my shoulder.

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I had seen her playing in the park now and then. A young and pretty girl of maybe nine. I never thought too much about her though except her sharp and beautiful eyes.
I always went to the park on my lunch hour when the weather permitted.
Office work can make you crazy if you don't go outside and remember the real world. It gave me perspective. Sun, trees, and children playing.
I guess I remembered that one girl because of how unique her eyes were, and when I watched, she always seemed to know and turn and smile. I, of course, would turn away. I wasn't any kind of pervert, and children were just children to me.
It was when that particular girl dragged an older boy into the trees by the hand that I became curious. Innocently, I followed thinking I was going to catch them at their first kiss. I didn't get too close and I stayed quiet as
well.
I wasn't prepared for what I saw. The pretty child with the great eyes was on her knees and blowing the older boy. I mean really blowing like a pro, head bobbing and all!
I should have stayed quiet but I said, "What the...?" before I could get a grip. Both kids turned and saw me then ran like hell the other direction. I should have tried to stop them and explain why what they were doing was wrong, but my only real thought was, why didn't I get a blow job when I was in school?
Kids were growing up quicker nowadays I guessed.
I didn't see the boy ever again but the next day, I did see her. She kept looking at me like she was working herself up the courage to talk to me. I guess she had it because she did walk over after many minutes of our watching each other.
"Hi." she said.
"Hello." I replied. "So, what is your name?"
"It depends." she answered.
"Oh?"
"Are you going to tell on me?"
There it was. She was probably embarrassed and afraid of getting into trouble, or at least teased. "Tell me why I shouldn't."
Her bright eyes flashed. They were very beautiful. Full of confidence and a little mischief. She said, "Because It's none of your business. I wasn't hurting you or anyone else. And I know what I was doing."
"Are you telling me that it was your idea?" I asked.
"Yes. That's exactly what I'm telling you. I knew what I was doing and so did he."
Now, I didn't have a lot of experience with children, but something about the way she was talking wasn't anything like I was expecting. I don't know, maybe I was expecting baby talk. This child seemed smart to me. "You do make a

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Hey losers

My name is Skyler, but everyone calls me Alphabet because i'm the ALPHA male and you can BET on it. My boys sent me the link to this messageboard. They told me it was full of fat pale basement dwelling neckbeards OCD Asians and pathetic gay virgins. Wow they weren't kidding. I haven't seen this level of homosexuality since my broseph Vince got totally zonked on X and mouthkissed Zane. Of course you fags do this shit ON PURPOSE You chumps make me sick hanging out on your nerd website all day jerking off to fat chicks making your gay little posts and dressing up like faggots and ejaculating to tranny porn.

Dude you guys would probably cut your own dicks off to be able to observe my life for one day much less live it. I am buff tuff and ruff broski! My body is tanned and chiseled because I use PROTEIN and go to the GYM. You worthless excuses for men don't know how that works. Try not to suck your protein supplements out of a dude's cock. Even if the dude's name is Mark.

Lets face it the chicks can't resist my bangin guns. When I walk up into the club the bitches can't wait for the Alphabet to wrap his pimp mitts around their titties. I have a .312 batting average not that you fags even know what that means and can drink all of your children under the table.You losers need to get a fucking life.

I think I’m a closet sex freak. I’m sleeping with this guy which I do really bad things with, but he doesn’t love me or care for me and even though I’m satisfied, there’s an emptiness that I never had with my ex-boyfriend. My ex never was able to make me feel great and we had really mediocre sex but afterwards he’d cuddle with me, tell me how much he loved me, how great I made him feel and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We’d spoon and kiss and fall asleep in each others’ arms and I’d wake up feeling completely happy and content. He’d make me breakfast and we’d spend the day lazing about his apartment or go out for a walk with his two dogs and I was so happy, and felt as long as I have these moments and have this love for the rest of my life, I can die satisfied.

That was all before this guy raped me and destroyed my contentment with my ex. After that night, I just couldn’t stay with my ex-boyfriend because I felt so shameful but at the same time, I realized how I didn’t have passion and lust for my boyfriend that I felt for this guy who violated me. I’m really confused because I can’t say he raped me because it excited me how he was forcing himself, but I still can’t help but STILL feel dirty with him every time we’re together. It’s turned into a consensual sexual friendship and he never hurts me or hits me, but the way we treat each other is just awful…. I feel almost like I’m a whore.

I wonder if I’m totally messing up my emotional health over with this destructive relationship. My ex-boyfriend still calls me crying and I’m still fucking the man. What am I doing? Why can I go back to my ex and be happy and have those mornings again? Instead I’m sleeping with the man and I always leave right after, because I can’t stand the idea of sleeping in his bed when he doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t make me go, in fact he asks me to stay but I just can’t because that’ll give me false hope that maybe one day he’ll love me. But he never will. Instead he calls me or stops by my house and work just to have sex and I comply.

Sometimes I think to that night, how he was tearing my clothes off, pushing me around and pinning me down while I was crying and telling him no and telling him to stop and as much as I know that’s wrong and probably rape, I kind of get turned on… What’s wrong with me?

Welcome to Niggerbuntu

Niggerbuntu is a Linux-based operating system consisting of Free and Open Source software for laptops, desktops, and servers. Niggerbuntu has a clear focus on the user and usability - it should Just Work, even if the user has only the thinking capacities of a sponge. the OS ships with the latest Gnomrilla release as well as a selection of server and desktop software that makes for a comfortable desktop experience off of a single installation CD.

It also features the packaging manager ape-ghetto, and the challenging Linux manual pages have been reformatted into the new 'monkey' format, so for example the manual for the shutdown command can be accessed just by typing: 'monkey shut-up -h now mothafukka' instead of 'man shutdown'.

Absolutely Free of Charge

Niggerbuntu is free software, and available to you free of charge, as in free beer or free stuffs you can get from looting. It's also Free in the sense of giving you rights of Software Freedom. The freedom, to run, copy, steal, distribute, study, share, change and improve the software for any purpose, without paying licensing fees.

Free software as in free beer !

Niggerbuntu is an ancient Nigger word, meaning "humanity to monkeys". Niggerbuntu also means "I am what I am because of how apes behave". The Niggerbuntu Linux distribution brings the spirit of Niggerbuntu to the software world.

The dictator Bokassa described Niggerbuntu in the following way:

"A subhuman with Niggerbuntu is open and available to others (like a white bitch you're ready to fsck), affirming of others, does not feel threatened by the fact that other species are more intelligent than we are, for it has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that it belongs to the great monkey specie."

We chose the name Niggerbuntu for this distribution because we think it captures perfectly the spirit of sharing and looting that is at the heart of the open source movement.

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Hey Morons,

My name is House, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their days looking for Lupus. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any vaccination? It's fun making fun of you people because of your own insecurities, but you all are starting to bore me. This is even more boring than my video games or soaps.

Everybody lies, so don't be a dumbass. I'll give you all a shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I diagnosed and saved a CIA agent before and even a presidential candidate, even though he was a nigger. What interesting medical cases have you solved other than "jacking off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also lie, cheat, steal and get away with it, and have a banging hot boss (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just OD. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my boss

To be fair she just ran out of ideas of what to do. Cam people tend to lack on the creative side. Not to mention the fact she is solo so she cant make any good movie sets for creativity.

Just ONCE I would like to see some cam chick recreate scenes from movies as best as they can. Even if the sets are cardboard, painted to look real. I give the following examples:
Reservoir dogs: Cutting off ear while dancing to Stuck in the Middle With You.
Star trek: Trekkies are easy pick ANYTHING
Star wars: Easy but more picky, may the force be with you.
Aliens: I just want to see how cheap but creative they can get.
Matrix: come on... too easy...

There are others, yes not creative but it also hasnt been really done.

"A few years ago, a mother and father decided they needed a break, so they wanted to head out for a night on the town. They called their most trusted babysitter. When the babysitter arrived, the two children were already fast asleep in bed. So the babysitter just got to sit around and make sure everything was okay with the bastard children. Later that night, the babysitter got bored and went to watch TV, but she couldn't watch it downstairs because they did not have cable downstairs (the parents didn't want bastard children watching too much garbage). So, she called them and asked them if she could watch cable in the parent's room. Of course, the parents said it was ok, but the babysitter had one final request... she asked if she could cover up the owl statue in their bedroom with a blanket or cloth, because it made her nervous. The phone line was silent for a moment, and the father who was talking to the babysitter at the time said, "Take the children and get out of the house... we will call the police. We do not have an owl statue."

The children and the babysitter were murdered by the owl. It turned out to be that the owl was a killer that escaped from jail. If you do not repost this within five minutes the owl will be standing next to your bed at 3:00 a.m. with a knife in his beak."

Have you ever shaken someone's hand and in the same instant, felt every bone in your fingers and palm shatter? Or, even worse, felt like you were shaking the fin on a dead fish?

Handshakes have been around since the birth of civilization. In fact, they were originally a way to prove you had no weapons in your hand when meeting someone new (given today's state of affairs, that might not be a bad idea). Nowadays, we use handshakes in meetings, greetings, offering congratulations, closing a business deal or sometimes just to say, "How's it goin'?"

No matter the basis of your handshake, it should become part of your repertoire. Handshakes are a sign of trust and help build strong relationships. Imagine meeting a well-groomed, well-dressed expert for the first time -- but when you shake his/her hand, you feel like you're grabbing an infant's PENIS.

Sometimes these "heartwarming" stories are a bit too sappy for me but this one is truly interesting...

In 1986, Mikele Mebembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mikele approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mikele worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mikele stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted lou dly, turned, and walked away.. Mikele never forgot that elephant or the event s of that day.

Twenty years later, Mikele was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mikele and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mikele, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mikele couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mikele summoned up his courage, climbed over th e railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mikele's legs
and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant.